It is not about fixing anything because nothing; no thing is wrong or right. It’s about perception brought about by the individual and that changes, as well. When it’s painful it’s related to the ego. Suffering is inevitable. It is about how we are there or not there for ourselves and others as we greet it. When we feel we cannot be there for ourselves, we ten dot look for a release outside of ourselves. We fall into the pit of treading water endlessly, instead of realizing we can lay back and float. Most would rather live a life time of dull ache than a moment of sharp, self-realization. We have been taught to distrust ourselves and our instincts. Our heart. We have been taught that survival is the greatest importance, that survival of the ego is the most important thing. It’s not. We can clearly see that since time began through repeated patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Yet, still we choose for the ego to live on; to life itself in this land of duality. In this realm.

There lived an elderly woman who had five different types of cancer growing in various places within her body. She had a mastectomy at one point to release the disease from this point. She also had no memory of any of this because she had been diagnosed with significant memory loss. dementia that continually eroded away her neurons. She lived her life as best she could, without memory of the tumors growing inside her body. She was well cared for. All her needs were met by a loving family and health care practitioners. She was simply unaware of the body she was clothed in, at the time. We all live in memory loss. The loss of the memory of our heart and soul. The grief of the loss of our authentic self, as free-flowing authenticity. When we are unable to live a life of truth, we lose ourselves within egoism. We become demented. We become deeply confused.

Most would rather live a life time of dull ache than a moment of sharp, self-realization. ~ michelenappi.com

We can choose to work with the ego, instead of against it. We can meet ourselves where we are at, even when we do not enjoy it, in this moment, through presence and awareness. We can bring ourselves to grace, comfort, and peaceful moments by releasing the sticky moments of the past.

This is not to say we are not affected by life, of course we are. There are times and people who are not aware of feelings of themselves or others, or they have chosen not to care because the prospect of caring harbors more suffering. They may or may not live the rest of their existence in this fashion. The point is, that for most of us we do have a choice even when our emotions seem to tell us otherwise. Yes, mental-emotional patterns may be difficult to live with. The point also is that we know what injures us. Becoming aware of what hurts within us is a treasure. Think of it as a rock in a river. The hardened pain that has been within us for who knows how long, feels heavy. It weighs us down. It sits at the bottom of the river. The waters of compassion glide by as if they do not notice the hardness of the rock. The water goes merrily on its way. As the water filters over the hardened sediment, it wears at it little by little. The rock barely noticing. Think of the ego as the rock and the water as your soul. Do they stop to preach to one another or  do they live together as one? Does the rock stop to thank the water, does the water halt its flow to recognize the rock for what it is worth? Both are equally useful in the dualistic nature of this land. One would not recognize the other without the sides; yin and yang, shadow and light, hardness and softness. Both are present. Both living beings. Purposeful.

This is the sand; tiny grains of what was once a mountain. The waters of compassion sustain us, just like the waters of life within. It’s all there. It’s about choices that we make to sustain the ego and the heart, as one beating together in grace. When we see and recognize our egoic patterns, we give ourselves the biggest gift of all. The gift of knowing our true selves in all-knowing presence and joy. In this stillness we are held as all of the cosmos recognizes our soul and we see that we are this energy itself, as well. ~ michelenappi.com