Returning to Life: After the Stress Has Been Released

Michele Nappi – Mystic Medium

“For far too long we have been seduced into walking a path that did not lead us to ourselves. For far too long we have said yes when we wanted to say no. And for far too long we have said no when we desperately wanted to say yes… . When we don’t listen to our intuition, we abandon our souls. And we abandon our souls because we are afraid if we don’t, others will abandon us.” — Terry Tempest Williams, When Women Were Birds: Fifty-four Variations on Voice

For far too long we have given ourselves away. We have allowed ourselves to believe the other persons opinion means more than our own. We have split ourselves into a million pieces and wondered why we have felt separated away from our own soul, our heart.

A miracle came to be for me, this past holiday season. I saw myself for who I am. Whom I had accepted myself to be. I did not like this perspective. I struggled with it like a fish out of water. I had a Scrooge moment.  “I don’t want to think this way.” I pushed and shoved the thoughts away and they became stronger still. I cried out for help. “Please ‘take this cup’ from me.” I felt desperate.  Trapped. Blocked into a corner. I was then shown something miraculous. My lifespan. I was able to see a deeper dimension of the me I had created thus far. I felt ashamed and bitter. I felt angry and blocked myself by pointing a finger outward at others. “Look at them, they are doing the same thing. Why should I change!?”  Fear welled up inside me. Yes, I was taught pain and suffering, quite precisely from previous generations, going back and back and back. From others before me and all around me. I could see it so clearly. It wasn’t anything new, and yet I saw it differently.  Another dimension of it. “Oh. We are so much alike. I thought it was them. It is I, too.“ It was as if I were watching a movie! We are so similar in so many ways, yet I was still clinging to my ‘them versus me’ thoughts. I wanted to be right and have all else be wrong. I was deep in the cesspool of duality and did it ever stink.

“I looked around and saw myself.” ~ Michele Nappi – Mystic Medium

Is there  a higher destiny? How do we get there? How does one learn to go from step one to step two? I felt trapped and stuck. Not a nice feeling. I began to want to end this lifetime. I wanted to hide away. I could feel the blocks of energy in the pit of my being. Anger welling within, “I hate you. I feel so jealous.” I kept blaming. I was then asked from a higher consciousness, “Do you see this? Do you want to continue this way?” Would I choose to abandon my soul once more? Am I that fearful that others will abandon me?  I slept fitfully. I awoke in anxiety. I felt so saddened. I realized that I knew differently and yet, somehow I couldn’t feel it in my soul. I felt lost and alone within myself.

I then realized I had disliked myself since I came here to earth. To be treated so cruelly as an infant, I must be so worthless. Who does that to a baby? A child!? Everyone must hate me, as well. They all lie, if they say they do care. Why would people be so absolutely stupid to like me? I cannot respect anyone who likes me. They are idiots, fools. I am ugly. Fat. Stupid. Inept. Such sewage surely smells awful. This must be why people treat me as they do. I must have this in my aura. People see it. Where can I hide?  I went on and on.

“You are so full of crap. You talk so often of  what you have learned and give it to others and yet you hold such a dark secret,” I heard myself say. “I truly hate you.“ Yes, I had seen this before during my self-healing journey and yet, this time it was so pronounced. Karma? I don’t believe in it, yet it was nagging at me. A mirror of reflection? Yes. I was seeing in others what I believed myself to be. Another opportunity had been given for me to reach clarity. What a gift to be shown this. This is what my heart had kept within it. Another layer of enfoldment. Lucky me.

Love lives here. ~ Michele Nappi – Mystic Medium

I heard, “You speak so little to me. Awaken.” This seemed different. It wasn’t my thought. Was I observing my thoughts? Was it a higher being speaking to me? It came from somewhere else. I had forgotten that I have heard this voice also, since the beginning of my time here. There had always been this higher self. Why does it go away though, at times? It feels so much more peaceful when I hear this voice. I realized it is not about intellectually understanding it. I talk all the time about spirituality. There is so much more. It is about the soul.

I have felt this synchronicity many times a day and then it vanishes. I’m in the flow and then I abandon myself. I begin to fall back into the taught-thoughts that others opinions mean more than my own. I get lost in this belief. I flounder. I promised my sister after she was killed, that I would stay awake for her. I forsake her, myself and all that I thought I knew about commitment. Even though intellectually I believe in a no failure rule, I fell into a dark hole within myself.  My perceptions failed me. I allowed it. I heard a conversation with a friend at this time. “Don’t be mean to yourself. Don’t hurt my friend.” I had called her around the holiday time. She, too was having thoughts full of stress and sounded angry. I felt ashamed and guilty for bothering her and took it all on myself.  Yes, clarity has a way of coming at this cost.

I then allowed myself to receive what I had requested. It felt mysterious. Miraculous. “Here you go, this is why.”

“When you come to a place of total helplessness don’t resist, just observe. You may find something that up until then, you have been missing.” ~ Mooji

I awakened.

We are what we focus on. When we focus on others darkness, we are looking at your own. We all have these perceived notions. We are all imperfect and perfection in duality. How do we make the decision to believe in ourselves? How worthy and fearless do we feel?  There are so many books written on the subject and yet, so many of us can still  know and feel that there is something missing. It depends on what we are focusing on. When we are happy all the same stuff is happening in the world. Nothing changed except our expectation. Our perception.

Have a conscious conversation with yourself. Let go of the idea of living through someone else’s consciousness. The dogma and doctrines we have been talked into believing; addictions. Repetitive thoughts and behaviors. Intuition keeps pointing us to the way of maintaining peace of mind. We have the free will to ignore this. We may fall back on old ways of coping under stress. Can we forgive ourselves and others for this phenomena? Yes.

We can find ways to keep ourselves centered in the clarity of this deeper heart-felt life. Perhaps then, there will be less and less stressors and more time in between them. Affirmations put up where we can see them, help. Then, after awhile we walk right by them. It helps to switch things up a bit. To have a list of things and people that have reached us before and assisted us in feeling joyful. Sometimes it is peaceful being alone, sometimes we want some sort of company. We may want to remind our self ahead of time that stressful things do happen and that there are ways to deal with them.

We can remember our own heart. Remember the truth is, is that we know our inner sanctuary better than anyone else. We do have the ability to believe in our self. We have been there, to that peaceful place of surety. We do know the way, even when we temporarily forget, we do know how to get there. Let go. Step aside. Release and allow yourself to go within.

All is well. Our soul, our heart elevates our experiences here on earth and is always available. Remember to remember. Practice consciousness. Believe in intuition. Slow down and breathe. Take a break. There is no rush. Any perceived set-back may be there to show the way. Is there a message for us in the chaos? Is there a sacred influence of a higher power at work? This would be relative to the one experiencing a thought. For me, I do believe there is. This may be a reminder to awaken to a bigger picture of life, of all the ages past and present. All is temporary. Energy is malleable. Change is all there is. We have made it this far, haven’t we? The saga continues.